We’ve all heard the phrase “save it for a rainy day.” We know it’s good to stash away stuff for when something gloomy might come around. Well, I was recently thinking about something I did that I think a lot more people should do also.
You ever hit lows in your marriage? Everyone does. If you say you don’t, you should just stop reading this right now because you are obviously perfect, so go save yourself some time. For those imperfect people *raises hand* like myself, I’m talking about those times when you want to kick your spouse. You know…you think they suck, or you are mad, or you just want to stay mad, and are simply having a hard time remembering what the hell brought you to want to marry them to begin with! Those are the rainy days that I speak of. After a couple of particularly rough weeks, I decided to try to put a stop to the gray cloud that had begun to consume me. I do mean consume. I was to the point that I was setting my husband up for an argument, nagging, or yelling any chance that I got. I don’t know why, but it was just a rough season for us. So, I put on my big girl panties and I told myself that obviously we aren’t going anywhere, so I better start thinking about how I can do my part to contribute to a solution. In that moment, I realized that I had been counting the things that annoyed me EVERY DAY. I was coming home from work already frustrated because I was just certain that there would be dishes (because he never does dishes), or that he wouldn’t bother to say hello (because he never acknowledges me), or that the kids would be fighting (because he never dedicates time to being active with them) or any other number of things I had burned into my mind as I was counting all the negative things on my list. Obviously, those aren't accurate, but isn't it hard to see the good stuff when you are in that kind of mood?!?! I decided that if I can spend that much time thinking about the negative things, I could at least be troubled to think of the positive ones. So, I made a list. I stopped and, even in a moment of frustration, I made a list of 10 things that I love about him. After I made the list, something magical happened. Not only was I not frustrated anymore, but I was elated! It was with that single action that my entire situation began to shift. Isn’t that something? Now I use my list as a compass of sorts. I've added to it over time and whenever I struggle to see the great things about my relationship, I pull it out and it grounds me. For fun, here’s a peak at the list that I made in my moment: 1. I like how you play with the kids 2. I like that you are bashful 3. I like that you don’t get insanely heated about politics, since I know I do enough for the both of us 4. I like when I see you love on our daughter because I can tell how much she loves it 5. I like the way you walk 6. I like that you support our financial goals 7. I like that you let me drag you around when I want to do stuff 8. I like that you don’t make me feel bad when I slack on something 9. I like when you pause what you’re doing and look at my boobs without realizing that you are doing it 10. I like that you will sit with me to read stories to the kids So to you, my friends, I challenge you to make your list and the next time you are in a funk, pull it out and look at it. I’ve reread it several times and each time I do, it provides the same result. Who doesn't need some butterflies every once in awhile? I hope it does the trick for you as well!
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