It happened on a Sunday morning. I'd talked to Sarah only once on the phone and then after a handful of texts, we'd planned it. Sarah was going to come over and clean my house.
Now, I get that this isn't some huge revelation. Or at least not at first.
But as the morning unfolded, I felt more and more like I was going to have a great day. It was almost instantaneous. After her arrival, I shut myself in my son's nursery and nursed him and read to him and laid on the floor and talked to him. Then I decided to take all the kids to meet up with my sister-in-law at the park. They played as we walked our babies lap after lap around the playground, finally catching up on everything. Our play date turned into a lunch date and then turned into a go exploring date and then turned into a wrapping up at my house playing basketball date. Seriously...the day was a blast. I came home to a house that was cleaner than if I had spent the whole day cleaning it myself and I felt a huge release of stress.
I've juggled a full-time career, kid's sports, pursuing my education, etc. for years and let myself drag along FOR YEARS! I've postponed things with my children FOR YEARS! I've spent time crying from the stress when I get too overwhelmed FOR YEARS. Why hadn't I done this sooner?
I'll tell you why...because of the comparison crap-trap and people like my friend Emily, who in response to my Facebook comment about interviewing a house cleaner, responded with You guys are killing me. I raised my kids, worked, and kept my house clean. Ugh, there it was, burning right into my retinas as well as my heart. I felt inadequate. If she could do it, why couldn't I?
Why do we do this to ourselves? Where do these standards come from? I don't know and I don't care to think about it for another moment. I got to spend an entire day with my babies and didn't worry about all of my household chores that I normally do. For once, I truly had a day off.
We have taken up a new hobby of geocaching that my children are loving. I've been writing riddles on my chalkboard routinely and they initiate lots of talking and giggling from my kids as well as my husband. I finished my digital scrapbook that I was a year behind on!
Those moments were lost. I knew they were needed and I was desperately trying to find them. It just so happens that I found them in the hands of another working woman and I am extremely thankful.