Photo from msnbc.com
You saw it. Maybe you scrolled right passed it. Maybe you cried about it. Maybe you were offended that someone shared it. What is it? It’s a picture of a dead toddler. That’s right; a little boy who should be in the arms and sights of someone to protect him is lying in the sand having washed up on shore because he drowned while his family was trying to migrate.
This is important. I want you to look at it. I not only want you to look at it, but I want you to really let it sink in. Maybe picture your own child or another child that you love.
I want you to grimace and I want it to sting. We, as a people, need to add some compassion in these situations. I've always heard that if you are kidnapped or faced with a murderer, you should try to humanize yourself because it makes it harder to complete such an atrocious act when you are faced with the realization that it's an actual person. It’s easy to yell about immigrants when you’ve never met any. It’s easy to pass judgment and to get caught up in the lie that all these people who are lazy, or criminals, or somehow lesser than us because they inconveniently were born somewhere else. It’s a little less easy to do any of those things when you look at a picture of a dead toddler…or at least I certainly hope it is.
I encourage people to share this photo. It isn’t pretty and it isn’t necessary. But, it can be a call to action; even if that action is on an individual level.
I’ve seen some repulsive comments. I actually had someone I know call me a “F@cking moron” when I reposted a piece about compassion in regard to immigrants. In my heart of hearts, I can’t handle it. I can’t sit in my air conditioned home with my meal delivery services and my house cleaner and my kid’s toys strewn all around and in those same moments protest that there isn’t enough to go around.
I often ask people, What would you do if you lived like that? Which is typically met with some self-righteous remark about doing things legally (as they are patiently scurrying around bombings and corrupt government officials I am sure) or a complete deer in headlights look as they realize that they have no remote idea what they would actually do. The latter was my moment.
In a moment, I thought of my daughter and what I would do if she couldn’t bobble around and be her silly self for fear of being raped or stoned as some form or punishment or simply because she crossed paths with the wrong person. I thought of my middle son and how he can relish his childhood and how his biggest fear is the dark and how he has no concept of true tragedy. I thought of my infant son and how I can entrust him in the care of someone while I work and I spend every morning and evening cuddling him and making him laugh and how he knows nothing but the love of parents who protect him.
Then I thought about what it would be like if I couldn’t do that.
What would I do if I couldn't protect my children? I ask that any parent reading this stop and think about that. What would you do if someone ripped your child from your arms and harmed them right in front of you and nobody was there to help. Would you get yourself killed and leave your other children with no parent at all in a world like that? Would you cry and feel helpless? Would you be filled with hatred and revenge and further complicate the problem? Would you cry for compassion? Would you pray to whatever higher being you believe in and request that someone, somewhere, provide you safe haven?
I imagine that every single one of you would hope that someone would help you. So why is it so easy to throw those thoughts out the window as soon as someone says the word “immigrant?”
I won't bother talking about the international treaties for refugees, or remind people of history lessons from the 30's when countries turned their backs to innocent Jewish people.
Instead, I simply ask that you take a long moment to linger on this photo and put yourself in someone else's shoes. Then let your heart guide you from there.
I stumbled across this little tidbit the other day while surfing the web and it resonated with me. You see, I'm a "Good is the enemy of great" kind of gal so I was definitely surprised at how liberated I felt when I read this. Maybe it's the season that I've been going through or something, but I've been searching for contentment. I have been actively pursuing it and didn't even realize it. When I read this, it was like a boulder had been taken off of my shoulders. I was trying too hard. I think it was the result of circumstantial adaption. I have been going, going, and pushing and working for so long that I think I didn't realize what it feels like to just be. Just be a mother, not a struggling mother. Just be a lover, not a starstruck lover. Just execute my job, not execute myself for my job.
Like most everything I do, I was already in full-on plan and go mode, looking for what I need to do before the stall even opened for the task at hand! I accomplish one thing and am already looking on the horizon for the next thing. That's how I live. It wasn't by choice but, instead, for survival. I firmly believe that I wouldn't have overcome my adversities without that tempo...but, how do you just stop?
How do you know when something is good enough? I thought I'd just get it and everything would magically feel right. Maybe that happens for some people, but it didn't for me. As I reflected on this quote, I realized that a lot of my stress has been a result of my pursuit of perfection. My goals start out innocent enough and then, somewhere along the line, they take steroids and max out on a bench press...or you know, they just explode!
I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue greatness but instead, that you should set out to define exactly what that greatness is so that when you reach it, you can actually enjoy it. It's easy to keep pushing a finish line back and in a world full of pinterest posts, facebook competitions, and bombards of in-your-face examples of how perfect everyone is, I think it's easy to get lost in the pursuit.
As for me and mine, I have finally accepted that good is good enough and I'm a lot happier now because of it.
It starts out innocent enough.
Oh, my Billy started crawling 5 months old and it was just the cutest thing ever.
That’s exciting! My Jill started crawling at 4 months old. I just knew she was so smart and she was gonna figure it out young.
Well, my Sally pretty much scooted to her toy at 8 weeks and it wasn’t long after that when she was moving all over the place.
I swear I could see Timmy signing to me in his 3D ultrasound!
STOP! Stop comparing, stop one-upping, and for-goodness-sake stop forcing obsessive compulsive competitiveness down your child’s throat before they can actually create a complex thought.
Seriously, think about it from a baby’s perspective…he’s just sitting there, enjoying life, cooing or babbling away. There is nothing going through his mind about trying to do something any faster or better than any other baby out there. Plus, what does that really get you anyway? Milestones like those don't dictate how much smarter, healthier, or better a baby is going to be. There are far too many variables contributing to that.
All you are really doing is adding undue stress to a situation that you should be trying to minimize stress in. My son will be 8 months old in about 02 days and he isn't crawling. Okay, well…..I mean he did get up on all fours really early and he does scoot and he did move each knee and each arm forward at least once in the same forward moving event soooo – see what I’m doing there?
He doesn’t crawl yet, but he will. Plus, I have more important things to worry about since having a new baby; like whether my bladder will ever be the same, figuring out how to survive on minimal sleep, and how to make sure that my family generally stays weaved together. For me, I'm going to try to stop sweating it.
My baby is, however, a happy and healthy little boy who is perfectly content doing exactly what he does, which happens to be rock back and forth and scoot…with an occasional little hop that makes me giggle.
We’ve all heard the phrase “save it for a rainy day.” We know it’s good to stash away stuff for when something gloomy might come around. Well, I was recently thinking about something I did that I think a lot more people should do also.
You ever hit lows in your marriage? Everyone does. If you say you don’t, you should just stop reading this right now because you are obviously perfect, so go save yourself some time.
For those imperfect people *raises hand* like myself, I’m talking about those times when you want to kick your spouse. You know…you think they suck, or you are mad, or you just want to stay mad, and are simply having a hard time remembering what the hell brought you to want to marry them to begin with! Those are the rainy days that I speak of.
After a couple of particularly rough weeks, I decided to try to put a stop to the gray cloud that had begun to consume me. I do mean consume. I was to the point that I was setting my husband up for an argument, nagging, or yelling any chance that I got. I don’t know why, but it was just a rough season for us. So, I put on my big girl panties and I told myself that obviously we aren’t going anywhere, so I better start thinking about how I can do my part to contribute to a solution.
In that moment, I realized that I had been counting the things that annoyed me EVERY DAY. I was coming home from work already frustrated because I was just certain that there would be dishes (because he never does dishes), or that he wouldn’t bother to say hello (because he never acknowledges me), or that the kids would be fighting (because he never dedicates time to being active with them) or any other number of things I had burned into my mind as I was counting all the negative things on my list. Obviously, those aren't accurate, but isn't it hard to see the good stuff when you are in that kind of mood?!?!
I decided that if I can spend that much time thinking about the negative things, I could at least be troubled to think of the positive ones. So, I made a list. I stopped and, even in a moment of frustration, I made a list of 10 things that I love about him. After I made the list, something magical happened. Not only was I not frustrated anymore, but I was elated!
It was with that single action that my entire situation began to shift. Isn’t that something?
Now I use my list as a compass of sorts. I've added to it over time and whenever I struggle to see the great things about my relationship, I pull it out and it grounds me.
For fun, here’s a peak at the list that I made in my moment:
1. I like how you play with the kids
2. I like that you are bashful
3. I like that you don’t get insanely heated about politics, since I know I do enough for the both of us
4. I like when I see you love on our daughter because I can tell how much she loves it
5. I like the way you walk
6. I like that you support our financial goals
7. I like that you let me drag you around when I want to do stuff
8. I like that you don’t make me feel bad when I slack on something
9. I like when you pause what you’re doing and look at my boobs without realizing that you are doing it
10. I like that you will sit with me to read stories to the kids
So to you, my friends, I challenge you to make your list and the next time you are in a funk, pull it out and look at it. I’ve reread it several times and each time I do, it provides the same result. Who doesn't need some butterflies every once in awhile? I hope it does the trick for you as well!
If you know me, you'll come to find out that I'm pretty passionate about health. I believe it's incredibly important to focus on holistic health and ultimately ensure that you make it a priority to have a healthy mind and body. In our nation, it's easy to zone in on a healthy body because we currently have an obesity epidemic.
I know this is a complicated issue from a world perspective, but, it's not from our country's perspective. I'm not talking about aesthetics here; I'm talking about a lifestyle that limits preventable diseases and complications by eating a healthy diet and remaining mobile and active.
Our children need to be educated about these needs because, let's face it, we live in a country that values a dollar over many things and our processed foods continue to be made cheaper, with little concern over the nutritional benefit to the consumer.
I've been pleased to see that General Mills recently announced that they will be removing artificial ingredients in their cereals. These are small steps, but positive ones nonetheless. Other companies are doing the same. As our manufacturers begin to make changes, we need to follow suit at home as well so that our children don't have the same challenges that we obviously do.
We have our kids in several different activities and one that always becomes a point of contention with me is team sports and snacks. First of all, I don't think a child needs a snack after 45min-1 hour of general physical activity. It creates a culture of eating for routine, or worse, eating for reward.
We are busy. I get that. It's been bred into us. I get that. Our barber, doctor's offices, and several other places we spend time at have candy jars. I have two in my office at work and it's a normal sight to other offices that I travel to as well.
Houston - we have a problem!
Why? Why so much sugar? The next person who says "it's just a little sugar" to me is going to end up not liking me. It's not "just a little sugar" when a kid gets it in their cereal, oatmeal, peanut butter, yogurt, crackers, chips, drinks, etc. they've been being rewarded all day if you look at it like that! We know it's bad for us and we need to be active in our pursuit of other reward schemes to help our kids combat some of the challenges. It's hard enough to make your way through the intentionally confusing nutritional and ingredient lists. Your children aren't dogs, so quit giving them treats like they are.
I used some brain power and consulted with some friends to make a list of examples of ways you can reward a kid without giving them candy.
1. Have a "sleepover" in the parent's bed. Can't sleep with your kids? Just give up your bed for the night. I guarantee any kid will think this is awesome.
2. Let them be in charge of picking the next movie/show you watch.
3. Let them pick an activity to do or game to play.
4. Praise them! Explain to them why what they did was great and how it makes you feel. Don't forget to ask them how it made them feel so they can connect that doing something positive feels good.
5. Take away one of their chores so they can use the time to do something else they prefer. We are big on teaching priorities, so this can be a great reward because they can shift their responsibility and have control over what they'd rather do.
6. Write them a note. Both of my older kids love getting notes. I make jokes, draw pictures, etc.
7. Give them uninterrupted attention. This seems like a given, but it's not. Go hang out with your kid. Go sit in their room with them, so play (you too...not just watching) at the park, or go on a walk!
8. Let them stay up a little later than their usual bedtime. What kid doesn't want to stay up past their bed time?!
9. Let them pick out new produce to try next time you go shopping. This is one way that we got our son to stop being a picky eater. We've had some bombs, but even then the experience is fun.
10. Plant a flower or plant in honor of the deed so they can have a constant reminder.
Ultimately, if you spend some time finding innovative ways to shift the focus towards other positive things, I guarantee you are helping your child learn more than just healthy eating.
Being at the eve of paying off my student loans has got me thinking.
Whether it’s my newsfeed that I
follow or my general social circles that determine this I’m not sure, but it seems to me that I see a lot of
complaints about the costs of an education.
Having been through two different degrees and now working in a field that relates to my studies, I think that people miss a few crucial ideas when approaching college.
Photo by Corna.QTR/CC
1. College isn’t as expensive as people make it out to be.
College isn’t expensive, people’s lifestyles are expensive. Sure, college isn’t cheap by any means,
but when I hear that someone walks away from their Bachelor studies with over $100,000 in
debt, I think that’s a lifestyle problem. People can go to a community college and then transfer
into a university. You can stay in a state school rather than attend out of state. People can seek
out renting textbooks instead of buying them new. Can I also just ask – what happened to being
a broke college student? My point is simply that I think it’s time people stop and reflect for a
moment about whether the cost of college itself is really what is making the bills so high.
2. The world revolves around demand and supply.
People can’t keep pursuing degrees that aren’t applicable in our job market and then at the
same time complain that your degree hasn’t gotten you a job. If we quit making uninformed
decisions about the path that we follow, those paths will begin to be less prominent. I hear time
and time again where people couldn’t find a job after their bachelor’s so they decided to go
ahead and start their master’s. That's some interesting logic to me. Soooo, you spent money
on one degree and haven’t put it to use, but somehow you think getting further in debt pursuing
another one is a good idea?
3. Just because you can get the loan, doesn’t mean you should.
This is where I screwed up. When applying for financial aid, I was provided the option to
apply for a loan and did. They offered me roughly 3 times as much as my actual costs were so
that I had money to “offset” my cost of living. By offset, I mean they offered me money that I
could blow and that’s precisely what happened. People have an opportunity to pick up work
while they are studying to help with this cost. I think that often students don’t consider the
options here because it’s easier to just get the extra money in the loan. I often hear the
argument that banks shouldn’t be allowed to offer such large loans because it’s a bad practice.
This is said as if the banks are forcing students to take these loans. At the end of the day, a
person made an active choice and that individual is accountable.
4. People need to look at their education as an investment.
This point in particular really becomes a bottom line for this subject. We simply don’t live in a
world where having a degree is going to land you a meal ticket. Maybe we did at some point,
but we haven’t for a long time. I started my college path trying to pursue something in
journalism, but ultimately changed course for this very reason. I needed something that was
going to land me a career, so I approached my decision with that in mind. That means that I had
to consider my area’s job market and then narrow my choices down from there. Most people
wouldn’t go dump thousands of dollars into a stock without reviewing its history or estimated
future performance, so why would you do that with your education?
Let me start this off by saying (or admitting rather) that I am a planner. I can’t help it. Really, truly, I can’t. I tend to freak out if things don’t go as planned and can get myself into quite a fit if someone else changes or impacts my plan. Any fellow planners will understand this, while other people probably just think I’m a crazy control freak.
Well, I didn’t exactly plan to be young single mother, working, while trying to finish my degree. I also didn’t plan to fall in love with a young single father who was working, while trying to get himself into his career path as well.
I DID plan on having a family that I loved fiercely while also taking summer vacations, family photos, playing board games, and just generally living our perfect life. See what I did there? Yep, I actually tried to plan a perfect family. Talk about setting myself up for failure.
I’m also pretty passionate about exploring different activities and interests for all of us – an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, right? That leaves us with a packed schedule. Add in our mixed schedules with the children and you’ve got yourself a nice mix batch of chaos.
Like a good planner, I will wrack my brain, adjust, swap, plan our family days and, inevitably, something will come up that ultimately leads to a meltdown (whether it’s actually one of my kids, or me doing the melting, tends to be random!). This vicious cycle repeated itself more times than I’d care to admit and left me drained…and then one day I decided to listen to my Husband…Yeah, that does happen every so often! ;)
See, my Husband happens to be the exact opposite of me in a lot of areas and let me tell you, it has been a breath of fresh air. He does not like to have a packed schedule and can truly enjoy a day of relaxation and just going with the flow. I always feel like we need to monopolize on the opportunity of whatever we are doing and MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT. Isn’t that something right there? My end goal is always to relax and enjoy the moment but somehow I feel the need to force it and that simply doesn’t work.
I stopped trying to force a happy moment and instead have decided to just stop and let the day or event transpire. A perfect example would be comparing two separate trips to Disneyland. In one, we got there as the park opened, we hit every activity we could, we made it to scheduled shows, and we left when the park closed. All of us were wiped out, cranky, and pretty miserable by the end of the day! On the other, we woke up (without an alarm) and had a nice breakfast, got to the park after that and then wrapped up around dinner time so we could eat off site and then went back to the hotel and swam a bit before bed. We had an amazing day and the kids still talk about that trip. I enjoyed myself the entire time.
The same scenario has played out time and time again regardless of what the activity is. We've had great, quality moments doing the simplest of things if I stop trying to force it.
It’s pretty amazing how much fun you can have in the flow. And, for all you fellow planners, you can always plan to not have a plan too!
GET IT; I DO. I LOVE BREASTFEEDING AS MUCH AS THE NEXT DETERMINED BREASTFEEDING MOTHER. IT IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE BEST OPTION FOR A CHILD, IF IT'S AN OPTION. I LOVE THE BONDING (LIKE MY GORGEOUS FRIEND HERE WITH HER BEAUTIFUL BOY...IT MAKES ME WARM AND FUZZY!). I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT I BREASTFED BOTH OF MY BIRTHED CHILDREN AND AM STILL CURRENTLY BREASTFEEDING MY INFANT SON.
BUT, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING WONDERFUL, CAN WE JUST GET OVER OURSELVES?!
IF I HEAR ONE MORE IGNORANT, RUDE, AND ABUSIVE COMMENT, I THINK I JUST MIGHT SPRING A LEAK!
I WAS RECENTLY COMMENTING ON HOW TEDIOUS MY QUEST FOR FORMULA WAS WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE SUGGESTED I EXPLORE TWO ORGANIZATIONS THAT I CAN PURCHASE BREAST MILK THROUGH. I DO BREASTFEED, BUT, MY SUPPLY IS DROPPING NOW THAT I'M PUMPING AT WORK AND MY RESERVES ARE LOW. THAT, COUPLED WITH THE FACT THAT I TRULY LOVE BREAST MILK FOR BABIES, MADE ME WANT TO EXPLORE THE OPTION. AFTER ALL, THIS FRIEND IS AN EXPERIENCED MOTHER, SHE BREASTFEEDS, DONATES HER BREAST MILK, AND IS EVEN STUDYING TO BECOME A LACTATION CONSULTANT. WHO ELSE TO BE A BETTER SOURCE OF INFORMATION?!?
AS I BEGIN TO EXPLORE THE OPTIONS SHE SENT ME, I REALIZE THAT I CAN'T ACTUALLY UTILIZE THE SERVICE. IT LITERALLY IS NOT AN OPTION FOR SOMEONE IN MY SITUATION AT ALL. THEY FOCUS ON NICU AND PREEMIE PATIENTS (THANK GOODNESS SINCE THOSE LITTLE BABIES NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET!), YOU HAVE TO HAVE A DETAILED PRESCRIPTION, AND THE MILK IS IN HIGH DEMAND.
I WAS DISAPPOINTED. NOT AS MUCH IN THE FACT THAT I COULDN'T UTILIZE THE SERVICE AS I WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT MY FRIEND ACTUALLY SENT ME THOSE LINKS. SHE WAS SO QUICK TO SPOUT OUT HER "ADVICE" AND "RECOMMENDATIONS" AS TO HOW I COULD BE A BETTER MOTHER WHEN SHE HADN'T EVEN TAKEN THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WAS SENDING AND REALIZE THAT IS WAS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO MY SITUATION.
WHEN I DID LET HER KNOW THIS, SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOW AND WOULD GET BACK TO ME. HER FOLLOW-UP CONSISTED OF ESSENTIALLY A CLASSIFIEDS PAGE FOR BREAST MILK. REALLY?
WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF COMPETITION, JUDGEMENT, AND IGNORANCE. IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT MOTHERHOOD HAS TAUGHT ME, IT'S THAT MOTHERS ARE GENERALLY DOING THE BEST THAT THEY CAN. MY 19 YEAR OLD SELF WAS DOING THE BEST THAT SHE COULD WITH MY FIRST-BORN BUT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT WITH HER THAN THEY ARE WITH MY INFANT SON.
WHY DO PEOPLE GET SO CAUGHT UP IN THEIR BELIEFS THAT BASIC CONSIDERATION (OR FACT FINDING IN THIS SITUATION) GOES OUT THE WINDOW? I WAS OFFENDED BY THE IGNORANCE WRAPPED IN GOOD INTENTIONS. THIS EXACT MENTALITY IS WHAT HAS CAUSED ME TO LEAVE THREE SEPARATE "MOMMY" GROUPS THAT SWEAR THEY HAVE THE COMMON GOAL OF SUPPORTING EACH OTHER.
ONE THING I DO KNOW IS THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF SUPPORT THAT I WANT.
It happened on a Sunday morning. I'd talked to Sarah only once on the phone and then after a handful of texts, we'd planned it. Sarah was going to come over and clean my house.
Now, I get that this isn't some huge revelation. Or at least not at first.
But as the morning unfolded, I felt more and more like I was going to have a great day. It was almost instantaneous. After her arrival, I shut myself in my son's nursery and nursed him and read to him and laid on the floor and talked to him. Then I decided to take all the kids to meet up with my sister-in-law at the park. They played as we walked our babies lap after lap around the playground, finally catching up on everything. Our play date turned into a lunch date and then turned into a go exploring date and then turned into a wrapping up at my house playing basketball date. Seriously...the day was a blast. I came home to a house that was cleaner than if I had spent the whole day cleaning it myself and I felt a huge release of stress.
I've juggled a full-time career, kid's sports, pursuing my education, etc. for years and let myself drag along FOR YEARS! I've postponed things with my children FOR YEARS! I've spent time crying from the stress when I get too overwhelmed FOR YEARS. Why hadn't I done this sooner?
I'll tell you why...because of the comparison crap-trap and people like my friend Emily, who in response to my Facebook comment about interviewing a house cleaner, responded with You guys are killing me. I raised my kids, worked, and kept my house clean. Ugh, there it was, burning right into my retinas as well as my heart. I felt inadequate. If she could do it, why couldn't I?
Why do we do this to ourselves? Where do these standards come from? I don't know and I don't care to think about it for another moment. I got to spend an entire day with my babies and didn't worry about all of my household chores that I normally do. For once, I truly had a day off.
We have taken up a new hobby of geocaching that my children are loving. I've been writing riddles on my chalkboard routinely and they initiate lots of talking and giggling from my kids as well as my husband. I finished my digital scrapbook that I was a year behind on!
Those moments were lost. I knew they were needed and I was desperately trying to find them. It just so happens that I found them in the hands of another working woman and I am extremely thankful.
First of all, I must admit that my face looked pretty similar to this young ladies when I first stumbled across this picture of a woman by the instagram handle @superabs. In all honesty, that's how I look at most well-oiled, ab-bearing, fitness photos. High five to that! But after reading endless comments battling whether or not this is offensive, I stopped and asked myself...Jessica, do you want a 6 pack? To which I responded with a resounding, yes! Then I remembered that I don't live in a world where I can have my cake and eat it too and, frankly, I really like cake. As I was thinking about a 6 pack (and maybe making a mental checklist as to whether I have the ingredients to make cake) I started to consider the reasons why I don't want a 6 pack.
1. I VALUE MY TIME
This isn't to say that someone with a 6 pack doesn't value their time, just that I value mine differently. I know the dedication it takes to obtain one and have personally watched someone go through a transformation for a competition in which she certainly did get a 6 pack....she also cried....and was hungry. I like neither of those.
2. I EAT FOR MORE THAN SUSTENANCE
And I like it. I really, really, enjoy food. Not junk and processed crap, but great meals that aren't always the healthiest. I can't eat like that all the time, but I'd like to enough that I know I can't have both. One of my favorite things to do when I have the time is to bake with the kids or make a delicious new recipe. Or, when I don't have the time, I like to go out to eat without worrying about nutritional info.
3. IT DOESN'T GUARANTEE GOOD HEALTH
Sure, there are a lot of people with 6 packs who are healthy. There are also a lot that are not. I believe in a balanced approach to health that relies significantly on moderation. I work out routinely, I weight train, and I eat healthy most of the time. My routine equates to good health and that's what I'm ultimately after.
4. I'D NEVER WANT TO GET DRESSED
Then I'd weird my kids out, my heating bills would go up, the neighbors would think I'm strange, I'd have a hard time getting my husband to look me in the face.... and, sometimes, I actually need him to listen to me. ;)